I don't do sleep deprivation and last night certainly falls under that category.
I must have been asleep for around an hour or so (it was very hot and muggy and took me a long time to even fall asleep) when I heard a door creak, the patter of little feet and then another door creak. Mine.
Sure enough, I open my groggy eyes and spy Noah getting in to bed and cuddling up to his daddy. As a general rule we do not agree with children sleeping with us, there are obvious exceptions for example when they were younger and sick, but generally sleeping in our bed, with us. No. So I picked him up to take him back to his own room via a trip to the bathroom, just in case.
He was pleading to be allowed to sleep with us, I almost caved but then I could hear my mothers voice in my head "no, if you start, it could become a habit!" (how come you can always hear your mother's voice doling out 'advice'?)
So, I'm carrying him back to his room and he starts crying. Not the sort of crying you can ignore but these small, silent, heart wrenching sobs. I harden my heart and put him back to bed and then jump back in to bed myself. But, as every mother knows, my mind is now on full alert, listening for any signs of wakefulness to the point that I'm now fully awake myself. And can I get back to sleep? No, I can't.
An hour or so passes by, where I am involuntarily jumping at every tiny sound, which I then discover is generally coming from Richards direction. He doesn't snore but he is a very noisy sleeper! And then, creak, pitter-patter, creak. Yup, Noah is back!
He thinks I'm asleep. I know, because when I lift my head and whisper his name, he immediately turns tail and hies it back to his bedroom. But now I know he is really awake and I'm laying there listening to him crying again. So, up, out of bed I get again and the upshot is he ends up in bed with me. Now, I know this isn't a good idea, namely because I can never sleep when I have a child in bed with me. But hey, I think he needs some comforting so I provide. He then whispers to me that he was in bed and "mummy, I was getting hotter and hotter!" and then proceeds to wrap himself around me and thereby increase his body heat exponentially. Meanwhile I'm laying there with the most amazing headache, probably heat induced, lying very uncomfortably with one arm under Noah and the other armed being held by him and wrapped around him.
And then in the quiet and darkness I hear his little voice. "Mummy, I'm your snuggle-bug..." He sure is.
I lay there for what seems like an age and I can tell that Noah is drifting in and out of sleep. I can 'feel' him rubbing his eyes, falling back in to that lovely state of restfulness just before you fall sleep and decide that this may be a good time to see if I can persuade him back to his own room. This time he goes back really well, you know this as a mum, you can tell the difference. He was happy to be taken back, he just requested his ceiling fan be turned on.
I, however, am even more wide awake than ever. With a pumping, brain blowing headache. I look at the clock. 3:09am. Uggh! I lay there, alert for any further signs of movement. Time passes. Slowly. Then 'bang'! A loud noise and, sure enough, a door creak and the sound of feet. I jump out of bed ready to head off any thoughts of Noah getting out of bed to find... Harriet. I find her with her bedroom light on, shining brighter than the sun and with the explanation that apparently her water bottle fell off her bedside table and woke her. She then decides a trip to the bathroom is needed. I'm more concerned about the noise that this will generate and it's potential for waking her brother. I think my lack of sympathy with her must communicate itself as she asks me what is wrong. To which I think I grumped out a few syllables.
She takes herself back to bed but passes me on the way from the bathroom to the bedroom and stops, puts her arms around me and says that she's sorry I'm having such a bad night but that she loves me very much.
Awwwww! So even though it was a very bad night, it was a good one too. Being a parent is hard but those times where your children's love for you shows through make it all worthwhile.
And I did finally get to sleep, the last time I looked at the clock it said 4:11am but the next thing I knew it was 9:30am and Richard woke me up with a coffee.